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" Student, and lover of Art who have fallen deeply in love with classic fairy tales and Japan's beautiful aesthetic.! " in Penang, Malaysia. He earned an advance diploma in TAFE accounting at INTI College Penang and currently studying Graphic & Advertising at The One Academy Penang.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

最后の梦(4)


乎屡次断线了,他尝试忘记自己曾写了些什么应该是其他人也会觉得萧索无趣又郁闷的心情记载。他必须承认自己的错误和懦弱,他有点孤单寂寞,他有点无助,但是他必须坚持下去。不说任何幻觉还是错觉的存在,其实,他一直都在沉睡着,沉睡着,他想在梦里找回属于自己的心。


(黑暗中徘徊


那一天结束后回到家,他疲惫不堪地躺在床上,什么事也不想交代,有史以来他从未那么快就入睡。无论是精神还是体力,得到了什么还是失去了什么,这样还是那样都没有任何关系,他假装可以不再计较,他或许已经无法忍受,他崩溃了。他的理智告诉他胡思乱想还是抱有假希望只会让他更难受和劳累而已。他不想成为吃不到葡萄就说葡萄酸的狐狸!再想,又怎样?他只需要休息,他开始要睡着了一直睡,一直睡到他有勇气张开眼睛面对全新的一天。


(黑暗中徘徊


‘这种典礼很美丽又耀眼,但是主要欢呼的对象似乎只是荣获Merit Award之上的学子们而已,坐在前方熟悉的朋友们或是不曾见面的新生们,还是某日在我身旁擦身而过的陌生人,我不由得从内心发起一种崇敬和妒嫉。当时,我只觉得前方台阶的渺小有如自己。。。’

赛事已经尘埃落定了吗?游戏已经真的结束了吗?他在孤寂的庭院中望着经不起微风考验的灯火摇摆着那身躯,蠢蠢欲动即将面临熄灭的命运,多少飞蛾的灵魂在黑暗中徘徊期待着谁为它们复仇。他回想自己曾不知量力,落得如蚍蜉、蜉蝣和飞蛾的下场。回过神来他又不知怎么害怕失去那团在心中燃烧的火,他很努力地保护着它,即使已经遍体鳞伤了也无所谓,他需要为自己找寻出口,他需要走出那黑暗的庭院。

‘自讨苦吃、自取耻辱、白费心机?也许是上天在暗示我在这里只不过是一团即将消失的鬼火,这里或许不再会有我的名字出现,我以前所付出的努力也只不过换来是一个不认识的名字。我的名字不见了,仿佛是命中注定,我早就该在。。。’


噩梦好像是为忧虑、悲观和绝望的人而存在。


(出口处徘徊


阅读页数:Chapter 3 – The Looking-Glass Insects 

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