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" Student, and lover of Art who have fallen deeply in love with classic fairy tales and Japan's beautiful aesthetic.! " in Penang, Malaysia. He earned an advance diploma in TAFE accounting at INTI College Penang and currently studying Graphic & Advertising at The One Academy Penang.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

长大后的沉默


又一宁静的夜晚,我再戴上了耳机,把音乐的声量调到最顶点,感受那种舞动的节奏…


沉默(一)

在这段期间内,很多事情都在改变着,对于正在改变的事情,站在事不关己的一方本是没有任何感觉,却也会替某某觉得无能为力。即使尝试努力幻想如果事情与自己有关系的话,还是说我是当中的主角或者是毫不起眼的配角,久而久之任谁都会无动于衷了。事情往往都是这样的吗?其实,没什么大不了,只是角度和立场上的问题而已。那种感觉就像在安静和安全的室内透过一扇窗口去望外头狂风暴雨的来袭。里头的确宁静的很,就像故意不去理会身边发生的事情,我独自走在自己的小径上欣赏自己的风景。很自私吧?可是,要是过火了,难免也会被人指责我多管闲事了。


沉默(二)

我喜欢沉默不语的时候,往往会回想一些事情,那是挺享受的。不过,难免也会令自己胡思乱想,让自己觉得好像是被所有人忽略了,有时还会觉得我像是偷听某某在说我的坏话,其实全因自己爱幻想而为身边的角色设计了我最不想听到的对白。我很清楚自己是口是心非。即使自己选择走在宁静的小径上看自己的风景,我内心空荡荡的,期待眼前会出现让我意想不到的事情,更希望有股推动自己的力量去冒险一番。我希望有人拍我肩膀告诉我不要再沉迷于窗外的雨景了,拉着我的手痛快的到外头淋雨,一同唱着彼此都听不懂对方的歌曲,喊着跳着唱着,不必担心自己是否会生病,不必理会自己的仪态。可是,顾虑太多了,因为我清楚,即使自己生病了没有人会可怜自己。我需要好好保护自己,就必须坚强点。我不想在生病的时候才懂得觉醒,偏偏发现一直以来根本就没人给于自己鼓励,又陷在自己的幻想中…


沉默(三)

醒了,醒了!那以后我得尝试强颜欢笑和随声附和就是了。为什么总是要为人改变自己呢?为什么其他人就不能牵就我呢?热情奔放的角色不太适合我吧。太无趣了,总是这样让我觉得自己怎样努力都依然还是配角似的。不管怎样,在人潮拥挤的街道上有时会难以让我透气,我还是会选择渐行渐远来到无人的小巷,再走进我向往的小径,孤芳自赏,独自静思,同时等待属于我的惊喜。长大后的沉默,往往都是让人觉得无奈。站在沉默不语的角度去看不沉默的人,有人凡事都不愿错过,拥抱了所有的平凡,在别人眼中或许微不足道,但是只要自己高兴,也管不了那么多。只要是为了自己就好,为了快乐就好。仔细想想,我的沉默也好像是这样。


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